Too Late

Wind teases relief
It's just more hot air
Blowing through this endless night
From which there is no escape
Roaming the street
No one here but my shadow
Creeping up on me
Like the time I'm running out of
Darkened windows and locked doors
They won't let me in
Only the moon to guide me
To the other side of the hill
Sirens cry in the distance
They got there too late

It's Easy

It's easy
To make the joke
To step away from the feeling
To run from yourself

It's easy
To put up a wall
To shut everything out
To not feel anything

It's easy
To be cynical
To be hard
To be harsh

It's easy
To bury pain
To hide emotion
To hurt

It's hard
To crack yourself open
To let your heart out
To live

And I'm home

And as I take that final look

Gasp for that last breath

A peace comes over me
As I close the book
I see your face
Not the way you left me
Beaten down and done
No, younger and still with hope
We rise higher
A warmth envelops me
And I'm home.

A short one

If I keep moving
I don't have to think
If I keep moving
I don't have to be
If I keep moving
Then I'm really not here
If I keep moving
You still are.

Let Go

I wish I'd gone darker
Let go of the guard rails
Taken it to the edge
Instead of only going waist deep

I wish I'd walked my talk
Been unafraid to totally let go
To drift out past the red line
And maybe not come back

Wish I'd taken myself down
Further than I did
Maybe now I wouldn't feel
Like I left something undone

Not Tonight

I don't want to look tonight
Don't need to escape me
I don't want to look tonight
Nothing there for me to see

Every night it's the same thing
Searching for images and clips
Every night it's the same thing
An excuse to play with my dick

It's sucking away my soul
And eating away at my brain
It's sucking away my soul
And causing me nothing but pain

Been at this for 40 years
Sad to say but it's true
Been at this for 40 years
No wonder I'm so blue

So tonight I won't look
I'll just go to sleep
Yeah tonight I won't look
I'll just leave me be

A new year

No I'm not dead. No, I didn't OD in the bathroom of a strip club. That's for my characters not for me. They always lead more interesting lives. I've been painting. That has sort of replaced this. That and I locked myself out of my own blog and finally figured out how to get back in! 

So I'm going to try to write more. I have time on my hands. Latest relationship just ended. It lasted six months, which for me is awhile. No bad feelings. It ran its course. Kudos to her for recognizing that.

Anyway, I doubt I have any readers anymore but maybe if I get going again...

Then again, to paraphrase Ivan Drago, I write for me! FOR ME!