Not If, When.

Disturbing news from the U.K. with two car bomb attacks narrowly averted and another attack on Scotland's airport. Now I really wasn't planning to use this space for political and national security related rants but it is only a matter of time until we get hit with our first subway or bus attack. I don't rest easily knowing that security has been increased at Times Square. Beefing up the last line of defense does not make me sleep better. Beef up the first line of defense so we don't have to count on extra cops in Times Square and maybe I'll sleep better.

Think of this like a football game. At the end there is usually the hail mary and a bunch of defenders sit back in the end zone waiting to knock down that last desperation heave. My point is that a good defense never lets it come down to the hail mary. Beat your opponent early and often and you won't have to worry about a fluke pass. Don't, and you'll spend your life trying to knock down hail mary throws and as Doug Flutie and Steve Bartowski (there's an old reference for you sports fans) will tell you, sometimes those bad boys get caught for touchdowns no matter how many people you got in the end zone.

I'm not here to talk about why what is happening in London is happening or its root causes or what policies may be leading to this or that. I'm talking about the reality that sooner or later it'll happen here (again). I think about it every time I'm on the subway. Doesn't mean I don't ride the subway. But the thoughts do cross my mind and I don't feel better when I have my bag checked. If you are counting on that to stop the act that's like counting on (another football analogy coming up) your place kicker to nail a 54-yard field goal at the final gun. Yeah, it can happen but nine out of ten times he comes up short.

OK, rant done. Went to see that Ben Kingsley movie "You Kill Me." I was very disappointed. It was a good idea that wasn't executed all that well. He was fine but the Tea Leoni character was completely unbelievable. The AA subplot was really just a gimmick but the film, to its credit, didn't take cheap shots at the twelve steppers. It was mostly an affectionate portrait. I'd go on about the movie and maybe I will at another time but lets just say it didn't really work and it sure seemed a lot longer than ninety minutes.

But while the movie blew, I saw it with an old friend and we had a nice dinner afterwards so all was not lost. Friend put up with my dry cleaner stories and other lame efforts. Oh, and they had technical problems at the theatre before the movie started so I got a pass to see a free movie. Of course, I go to about three movies a year so maybe I'll use it in December.

The problem (or one problem anyway) with a blog is ending a post. It's like trying to end a conversation with a girl you are just getting to know and flirting with. You want to leave on a good note, leave them wanting more and not be all awkward. Sometimes I can pull it off, but this is not one of those times so I think I'll just borrow from a famous TV show and just...

A Don Doesn't Wear Shorts

So I took Tuesday off. I was feeling a little burnt out from work and after a long Monday I thought it might do me some good to do nothing. I know, loyal readers will observe that I already do a lot of nothing but doing nothing on a Tuesday when you should be at work has a nice sneaky feel to it.

One thing I did want to do was buy a new pair of shorts. Now, I know real New Yorkers don't wear shorts and for many years I've lived by that except when in route to the gym (which is pretty much every day, so I guess I don't live by that after all). But seven years in California kind of changed my way of thinking and no one seems to follow the shorts rule nearly as much as they did back in the 1980s so I thought it might be time for a new pair.

But finding shorts that a guy my age can wear is no easy task. I look younger than I am but even with that in consideration I have a wiry to athletic build that just doesn't really look good in the baggy down the the knee shorts that the kids are wearing these days. I have to acknowledge my age because there is nothing worse than someone trying to pull off clothes they really shouldn't be wearing.

I went to the Gap, Filene's (I don't want to hear it, they have some good shit there) a bunch of those jeans stores that are everywhere and struck out. I was told by a friend that I should get the sort of dressy shorts and then do the loafers no socks thing but that's not gonna happen. See, I wear sneakers with shorts. Sorry, it's who I am and it's not going to change. The main reason I wear sneakers is that no matter how Disneyfied New York gets it's still New York and your life can still end at any moment. That's the thrill of living here. Having said that, it is crucial that one be able to run fast at any given second and one can't do that wearing loafers without socks, flip-flops or any thing like that.

After all that, I decided to wear jeans last night and for now at least be a real New Yorker. But the search for shorts will go on.

Sure it's a cliche but it still has its appeal

I should be doing work. I have enough to do but I'm in one of those what difference does it all make anyway mood and was just thinking how nice it would be to check out with Bach's Air for G String playing. Just fade away. Is it anymore cliched then my old plan for checking out, which was the John Entwistle approach? This way is a little cleaner and more peaceful and won't require nearly as thorough a toxicology report.

Don't worry, not planning anything. But sometimes it seems like a not so bad idea. Highly unlikely though as I want everything planned to the last detail. I want the overture from Tommy playing as people come in for my service. I want a slide/video presentation, etc. In fact, I want to be there for it. It's one of my fantasies. I know, how narcissistic can one get? Believe me, I can be pretty narcissistic, it goes with the territory. I'm a journalist at heart and what you need to know about journalists is that we have this deadly combination of arrogance and self-loathing that makes us know-it-alls who are too afraid to take a chance. I guess I shouldn't speak for all journalists, but most of the ones I've known fit the bill.

Larry King and Paris Hilton--A Sneak Peak

OK, in anticipation of this week's Larry King-Paris Hilton sitdown, I thought I'd offer a preview.

LK: Welcome back, everyone and thanks for joining us for a very special interview with Paris Hilton. Paris, how are you?

PH: I'm fine, Larry and I'm just so glad to be here.

LK: How was jail.

PH: It was a learning experience that will change my life.

LK: Now, you are some kind of heiress?

PH: Yes.

LK: You own hotels, right?

PH: We did.

LK: You know what I like in a hotel? A good mini-bar. Do your hotels have good mini-bars?

PH: I think they do. I don't actually stay in them.

LK: And porn, I need good porn.

PH: Well...

LK: You did a movie once right?

PH: Uh, I really don't want to talk about that.

LK: I had a hard time following it, the green screen and all. OK, time for a commercial.

This would be funnier if you could hear me doing my Larry King impersination, which isn't too bad.

Sunday Night Blues

Should be in a good mood. Beautiful day. Got to the gym. Had a good game. Pitched five innings and got a couple of hits. But it's Sunday night and I'm feeling an emptiness I haven't felt in a long time. It's not a great feeling. I know what's causing it. A delayed reaction to the demise of a relationship. I knew the relationship would probably be short-term but attached to it was a much longer friendship and while I think the friendship will eventually resume, right now it's on the back burner. I think that is the tougher part and I don't mean that as some form disrespect for the relationship. Problem is I could handle the relationship ending if I could still talk to my friend. But I can't have both and apparently I can't have one either. Hopefully this will be just for awhile.

I realize in my posts I say "anyway" and "that said" far too many times. I'll try to watch it. I hate annoying phrases and yet I'm an annoying phrase user myself.

I know I just have to keep doing what I've been doing and ride it out. My brain has been fucking with me lately, trying to tell me stuff that I know is bull. I know I just have to keep going and walk through to the other side. There can be no going back. No tossing away of 21 months out of a little loneliness. Not to sound like a cliche, but I'm tougher than that. I better be.

Still, I think I need to mix things up a little. I don't know how, but I need to try some new things. I need to hit some different places and faces.

Tomorrow I have an event at work. Here's hoping the people who said they'd come actually do. If that happens, I'll have a full house and I can breathe a little easy

OK, enough of the poor pitiful me stuff. Life is good. I'm here and I'm present and I'm alert. It's all good.

On a different note, Entourage kind of blew tonight. I think it may have jumped the shark. I don't feel like watching any of the other new HBO stuff. I'm hoping Rescue Me picks up but the first two episodes have only been so-so. Everyone tells me the third one resolves all these idiotic plot points. Let's hope so. Too much talent on that show for it to be this crappy.

Sometimes Fast is Good!

That was fast. Stumbled onto a good clip. Anyway, bathroom update. Boarders in Lincoln Center has a nice clean setup but for some reason tonight had to wait for what seemed like and eternity for two people to do their business. I was next on line and was in and out of there in under a ninety seconds. It's all in the timing. You know what I'm talking about. If you go too early, you're pushing so hard your afraid your heart will explode. Too late and you've got a whole other kind of mess going. But just right and you can be in and out in no time. I'm sure the guys behind me were grateful. Plus, if you are in and out that fast, odds are you aren't leaving any lasting memories behind.

Finally, a post that's actually about something!

Something's Slightly Askew

Fluff keeps yapping. I know. I have a cat named Fluff. Actually, I have two cats--Skinny and Fluff. I got tired of trying to give them clever names (Leopold and Loeb, Igor and Basil, etc.) and my then girlfriend started calling them Skinny and Fluff (they're identical twins except one is long hair) and it stuck.

Anyway, it's not Fluff that is askew, he always is yapping. I'm askew. All worked up and I don't know about what. Been hitting the Internet entertainment hard the last week. I don't know what I'm trying to escape but I feel very antsy. I'm not going to act on it, at least I hope not. I'm on the subway today and it is loaded with pretty girls and all of a sudden I'm envisioning all sorts of things. I know, hey we all do that. This was different. It was too real. I've got something eating at me but I don't know what it is or I do know and I can't bring myself to confront it so instead I go to all lengths to avoid being in my skin and since I don't use the old ways of escape I'm not left with self-serving gratification. On the one hand, one could admire my prowess (six times in two days, not bad for someone well past the age of 30!). But that's just a dodge. It may be family related. Hell, I originally was going to post about the Vietnamese refugee we took in during the 70s. It's a funny story when I tell it, but somehow I can't capture the humor when I try to write it. Maybe it's not so funny after all. Anyway, I banged out a bunch of stuff on it and Jersey and all sorts of other crap but it just wasn't going anywhere. Maybe I'm not there yet when it comes to trying to make some sense of shit.

I want to be witty and sharp and have amusing stories but as I look at everything I've posted it's clear I'm not there. Of course, I can't just say I'm going to write funny. It doesn't work like that. BTW, before I resume with whatever this post is about I've got to just bitch about what a piece of shit MacBooks are. They suck. If you're thinking of getting one, don't do it. The mouse is hypersensitive, the keypad is too small and it is real easy to accidentally delete shit. There are lots of other problems too. Look, I'm not Walt Mossberg and I'm sure this is really a wonderful machine and my problems with it are of my own doing but I've never had issues like this with any other laptop I've owned.

I now realize I've done it again. A post that goes all over the place and ends up nowhere. On that note...