Sunday, May 8, 2016

Up in the Air

For some reason the only time I really feel like writing in this thing these days is when I'm on a plane. Perhaps it is because I can't make the usual excuses I make to avoid posting here like there's something on TV or I've got important masturbating to do.

I'm flying back from Atlanta where I went for my niece's college graduation. Very quick trip but it was also quite nice. I will be wiped out by the time I get home and I have to get up extra early tomorrow for work. These are luxury problems. I'm 51 and I make a good living and have a nice home.

So where is Rambler at these days?

The job is good. There are challenges. I am well paid but at the same time it is getting tougher and tougher to get into the paper. This has nothing to do with my work and everything to do with a shrinking news hole and a large and talented staff. The editors are literally telling us to write less. This, in theory, is an opportunity for me to work on distinctive feature stories instead of focusing on cranking copy, which is what I usually do. But, as they say, it is tough to teach an old dog new tricks. And I am an old dog now.

The personal life is in transition but when isn't it. The woman I am involved with is finally exiting a marriage that has been dead for some time (before I ever entered the picture). She has a new apartment she is moving into with her two kids and soon hopefully we will be able to see each other a little more and eventually if all goes well I can be phased into the rest of her life. This is a long-term project and I'm in no rush. Just hoping it all works.

As for the writing, well as this blog indicates writing for myself doesn't come easy for me. I actually have an opportunity to pursue a book but it is a book about the TV industry and to be honest that kind of book has never really appealed to me. The way I see it, I'm doing all the grunt work for the other people who swoop in and write books about the business. And I'm not complaining. It's my strength. I'd be lying to say the idea of book isn't intimidating. But I'm not sure if it is fear that is keeping me from embracing this opportunity or a lack of interest.

So what am I interested in? I still have dreams of a noir book or heck maybe even something akin to Lawrence Block meets Chuck Palahniuk. A little noir, a little violence, a little erotica all mixed together.

So why don't I? Well there is where fear and excuses and laziness kick in. I need to get off my rear and take a shot for if for no one else. I've often said I don't care if I get something published, I just want to get something finished. Of course, to do that I actually have to start something too!

Yes, I've started stuff on this site and some of it may even play into a bigger project. I'm always torn between a series of short stories or a novel. However, just sitting here typing this makes me thing the short stories is the way to go. It can be a mix of fact and fiction or autobiographical. I know, look at the ego on this guy. But I don't mean an autobiography as in look at how fascinating my life has been. I mean ten or 12 short funny stories in my life. I'm pretty sure between my childhood and some of my amusing adventures as a drunk I can muster that up!

It's time to shut this down. No, I'm not landing. But I'm not ready to takeoff yet either.