Saturday, December 29, 2012

Didn't I know you once

Didn't I know you once
When you needed help

Didn't I know you once
When you had your hand out

Didn't I know you once
When you said we were friends

Didn't I know you once
When you said you wouldn't forget

Didn't I know you once
When we clung to each other

Didn't I know you once
When we cried together

Didn't I know you once
When we were like sister and brother

Didn't I know you once
When we were lovers

Keep looking away
But I knew you once

Monday, December 24, 2012

The Donut

See the clouds part
As we make our way down
See the sun shine
Soon be on the ground

Another chance to start over
Another chance to say no more
Another chance to live
Another chance to love

See the hills
As we sail by
See the blue sky
All waiting

Another chance to try again
Another chance to live some more
Another chance to forgive
Another chance to be forgiven

See the donut that says I’m home
The traffic that I’ll have to fight through
See the endless possibilities
They’re there if I look for them.

Do it to myself*

On a plane
Looking at the mountains below
Feeling so empty
Wondering where my life will go

It’s more than half over now
Not much to show
See friends married with kids
I’m still alone

I do it to myself
Afraid to love
I do it to myself
Afraid to live
I do it to myself
Afraid to give
I do it myself
Afraid to open
I do it to myself
Afraid of everything

Come Christmas and New Years I’ll be alone
Lost in my empty world clinging to what I don’t know
And I did it to myself.

*I'm not this depressed. Wrote this while doing some soul searching that was helpful.


Wish you still here
Would like just a little more time
Even a day

You didn’t want me when I needed you
I didn’t want you when you needed me
Missed opportunities
Closed doors

I’d like one day
I’d be different
You’d be different

Wish I knew who you became
Instead of being stuck on who you were
You changed
I didn’t

I’m sorry.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Rambler's alive.

Just thought I'd put that out there if anyone is wondering.

I know I've said that before so I understand if you don't believe me.

But really I'm here. There's a person here. He's lonely, a little scared, plenty angry and getting old.

But he can still kick your ass with his words. Cut you down to nothing with a glance.

OK, just a little machismo there. I am older, but I run farther and faster than I did ten years ago. I box once a week. I'm as slim as I've been in 20 years. The hair is hanging in there.

I wish I could tell you I've got some new stories to tell you. I don't. I'm single again. It's tough. My mom is nearing the end, It's sad. There's a lot of turmoil at work. I'm back in therapy.

Skinny and Fluff are still here! RGIII has me believing.

I'm headed to New York for a few days. You can find me at the usual spots.

I know no one comes here to read anymore so consider this a silent scream.

I'm alive.

Now come find me.