Didn't I know you once

Didn't I know you once
When you needed help

Didn't I know you once
When you had your hand out

Didn't I know you once
When you said we were friends

Didn't I know you once
When you said you wouldn't forget

Didn't I know you once
When we clung to each other

Didn't I know you once
When we cried together

Didn't I know you once
When we were like sister and brother

Didn't I know you once
When we were lovers

Keep looking away
But I knew you once

The Donut

See the clouds part

As we make our way down

See the sun shine

Soon be on the ground

Another chance to start over

Another chance to say no more

Another chance to live

Another chance to love

See the hills

As we sail by

See the blue sky

All waiting

Another chance to try again

Another chance to live some more

Another chance to forgive

Another chance to be forgiven

See the donut that says I’m home

The traffic that I’ll have to fight through

See the endless possibilities

They’re there if I look for them.

Do it to myself*

On a plane

Looking at the mountains below

Feeling so empty

Wondering where my life will go

It’s more than half over now

Not much to show

See friends married with kids

I’m still alone

I do it to myself

Afraid to love

I do it to myself

Afraid to live

I do it to myself

Afraid to give

I do it myself

Afraid to open

I do it to myself

Afraid of everything

Come Christmas and New Years I’ll be alone

Lost in my empty world clinging to what I don’t know

And I did it to myself.

*I'm not this depressed. Wrote this while doing some soul searching that was helpful.

Dad

Wish you still here

Would like just a little more time

Even a day

You didn’t want me when I needed you

I didn’t want you when you needed me

Missed opportunities

Closed doors

I’d like one day

I’d be different

You’d be different

Wish I knew who you became

Instead of being stuck on who you were

You changed

I didn’t

I’m sorry.

Alive

Rambler's alive.

Just thought I'd put that out there if anyone is wondering.

I know I've said that before so I understand if you don't believe me.

But really I'm here. There's a person here. He's lonely, a little scared, plenty angry and getting old.

But he can still kick your ass with his words. Cut you down to nothing with a glance.

OK, just a little machismo there. I am older, but I run farther and faster than I did ten years ago. I box once a week. I'm as slim as I've been in 20 years. The hair is hanging in there.

I wish I could tell you I've got some new stories to tell you. I don't. I'm single again. It's tough. My mom is nearing the end, It's sad. There's a lot of turmoil at work. I'm back in therapy.

Skinny and Fluff are still here! RGIII has me believing.

I'm headed to New York for a few days. You can find me at the usual spots.

I know no one comes here to read anymore so consider this a silent scream.

I'm alive.

Now come find me.