Thursday, April 30, 2009


Another late night washes over
Covering everything but the scars that have been left to carry us forward

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Vegas Daze

Sunrise over the strip
Comes like a hooker homeward bound
Make up smeared, knees soar, nose lit
Keeps telling herself she's new, but she's been around

That glaring light
Leaves her blind
Wishes it were still night
Because then there would still be time

She sweats it out
All of them drip onto the sidewalk
Gets back to her room turns the lock
At least she's inside, not outlined by chalk

Long-Term Parking

I feel a need to update but don't have the energy right now. I'll just say the parking sucks here. The zones have gotten so absurd that one has to spend twenty minutes reading signs to figure out if a space is legal or not. I propose that the city offer a one-size-fits-all permit for a couple of hundred bucks that lets you park anywhere. Not many people would sign up for it anyway so the ticket bandits could still rage.

Anyway, more to come. Just wanted to get something up here right now real quick.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

LA Homeless

Are freakier than the New York homeless. Very zombie like as if they're waiting for a Michael Jackson video shoot.

Is It Strange That

I feel like I never left? I swear New York seems so far away. I started my job today, a day early and got my first story in the paper. A few years ago I would've grumbled about having to do it, but it felt so good to pick up a phone and call someone with a sense of purpose rather than a sense of shame. I know that's my head and my last job served me well, but I really didn't like the asking people to do events game. I much prefer saying, "I'm on deadline."

Being downtown didn't seem so bad although this was only day one. When I left work after seven and went racing up Third Street and then over to Vermont and then Fountain and then Sunset to meet some friends for dinner, it was so much fun. I love driving again. I know the traffic will get to me eventually, but for now it hasn't been so bad and I haven't cared. Even doing fifteen miles on the 101 this morning was tolerable. And stick does not bother me!

I know my first few days have been a rush and things will slow down. I won't go to Dodger games every week. There will be times when I will be alone and lonely but strangely enough I think even that is easier here. My apartment, which isn't ready yet, is big. Not huge, but compared to my New York box it's a mansion. I was so tired of my New York apartment that I barely could stand to spend time in it except before I went to bed. The new place will be more like a home rather than a flop house.

Anyway, I'm going to crash now. It's not even eleven, but I'm wiped. I think I made the right move.

Friday, April 17, 2009

For All The Ones

Didn't deserve it
Not for a second
Don't sit there judging from a far
You never had to do it for a dollar

Can't even begin to grasp how she got there
You sit back and laugh, thanks for your share
But she won't wake up tomorrow
And you'll be somewhere else looking down and you don't care

For all the ones taken advantage of
For all the ones dragged down the line
For all the ones who didn't make it back

Just another faceless soul
Fighting for what little she had
And now she's full of holes
Lying on her bed

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Checkout Time

She sits there starting at the walls again
Doesn't know how she got there again
She sits there looking at the floor again
Doesn't know why she's nowhere again

Thought this time would be different
Just like every other time was supposed to be
Thought this time would take her to that place
Instead it just laid her to waste

Now she's in between worlds
And they both are sucking her dry
That rush in her veins
It gets shorter and shorter with each shot

Can't hear them because they're not there
No one coming to save her this time
Wore out her welcome even with the ghosts
And now she's drifting away for good

Didn't have to go this way
Another one taken by love
That wasn't real that couldn't feel
She'll be stuck there until the rent's due

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Ain't Gonna Lose You

I'm digging this guy...

Fare Beater

Not gonna climb your hill
I know you think that's what it's about
But I'm too old and too tired to chase what can't be caught

Think you know me, you don't have a clue
Thought we were riding this cab together
But you're a fare beater, nothing more

So keep playing your games in your head
You think I don't know I'm dead?
I don't want to see you around the corner

I'll keep going no matter
Can't stop for a second
Can't stop

Good Food In Ugly Places

Got up at 4 a.m. at my Dad's apartment and headed back over to mine to shower, chug some coffee, and wait for the car. It was still cold and rainy when I left, just like it was last night. Kind of made it hard to miss the city. Got to the airport with plenty of time to spare and at 6:40 a.m. was in the air.

Arrived and got my bags no problem except for the $140 it cost me to check all the bags I was bringing. Hopefully this is a one-time expense. It was beautiful here today in the morning, cloudy at midday and beautiful again right now. Cabbed it to my temporary lodging and then went to The Grove, the (not so new but new to me) outdoor mall off of Third near Farmer's market. We valet parked the car. How LA of us. Nice mall with great views.

Ate at a decent burger place on La Brea in an ugly parking lot. That's LA right there, good food in ugly places.

After that, we headed to Van Nuys to get my car. I then drove it back down to my temporary housing. I really love driving down Laurel Canyon and the stick isn't that big a deal. It keeps me from looking at the phone and distracting myself.

I know this is hardly the most exciting post in the world, but I'm just trying to stay in the practice of writing. I really think there is going to be a lot of pressure on me to break news at my new job. I used to be good at it, but it's been a few years. The bar is low but they are expecting a lot. I hope I can deliver. I really want to and not just because I want to make a big splash and all that crap. I want to because they believe in me and are taking a chance on me.

Everyone knows I'm back in town and most are supportive although a few think I'm crazy and a very few think...oh hell, lets not even go there for once. One person said doesn't he know that he'll be 'treated like a pariah there?' Can't worry about that.

Going to do a little work on the other project for awhile before I hit a meeting. Supposed to go to a Dodgers game tomorrow. I think I will mellow a little here. I won't ripen and rot, but maybe I'll slow down just a little bit and that wouldn't be a bad thing.

Only worry is smoking. The smokes are cheap here (compared to New York) and a Marlboro would taste good right now. I'll play it through though. Can't chuck over two years out the window just for the thrill of driving a clutch, chain smoking, talking on the phone and eying girls all at the same time.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Doing What Is Necessary

So I'm at the gym in LA last week and of course there is a car chase on the local news. I and the rest of the knuckleheads at the gym sat there transfixed while ten police cars chased a mini-van. Every time they could have cornered it they somehow let the van slip through. They let a situation that could've been stopped in its tracks escalate beyond control. All they had do was run that thing off the road, shoot its tires, anything.

The chase is symbolic of what has happened to this country. We are afraid to act. A shooter walks into a building and starts killing people and the police sit outside monitoring the situation rather then storming the building, consequences be damned. Whether it is because of the fear of lawsuits, the fear of being second-guessed or just fear of failure, it has to be stopped.

That's why it was so heartening to see the Navy Seals take out the pirates. That's what we used to do. Of course, now there are threats of bloodshed and retaliation. Well, next time a ship is taken, that ship has to be blown out of the water. The only thing terrorists understand is dead terrorists.

I'm sure I'm sounding reactionary but enough is enough. We have compromised ourselves and scared ourselves out of doing what is necessary. We sit in fear and live in panic and we pay the price.

Maybe we can start to stop that now. Maybe instead of a five-hour police chase, it can end in five minutes. Wouldn't that be nice?

Monday, April 13, 2009


Fading lights
Falling stars
Another big empty passes us by

Strive to break through
Instead we fall down
No one notices
And we go on.


Sitting in my practically empty New York apartment for one last night. I leave early Wednesday morning (very early) and will crash tomorrow night at the old man's place.

Not much to say, but wanted to post something. Saw the new Russell Crowe flick, which if you know DC you'll like since a lot was shot there. He's a journalist in the movie so naturally he's a slob and a boozer and cynical. Tourguide might like the movie. One too many plot twists but for free it was fine.

Going to a Dodgers game Thursday night. I'll still pull for the Yanks as much as I pull for anyone.

I'd write more but frankly I'm hunched over on the floor and look like I'm waiting to be mounted so on that note...

Friday, April 10, 2009

LA Story

A quick update on my three days out here. First it took forever to get out here Monday night. Was supposed to arrive at 7:20 and ended up here after midnight. Spent five hours in St. Louis airport!

Tuesday apartment hunting was incredibly depressing at first. I saw some real shitholes going for $1,400-$1,500 per-month. Travis Bickle would've said no to these places! Some of the others weren't as bad, but they also just didn't seem like they were worth the move across the country.

I saw a few of the typical motel apartment buildings with the pool in the courtyard. I lived in two of those when I first moved out here and spent all of maybe two hours at the pool. I even checked out a one bedroom in the building I lived in 15 years ago. The rent for it was double and frankly it'd be too weird to live there.

I steered clear of a lot of West Hollywood just because that is where the heartbreak lives and while LA is not like New York in terms of bumping into people, it just would not be good for me psychologically to be that close to where she lives. BTW, update on her that I did not need but she has a new boyfriend (big shock) and is taking him to meet her parents (less than three months after doing same with me...those poor parents). I was not looking for this information. A friend told me unsolicited as a way to discourage any thoughts I might have harbored. I harbor many thoughts, but contacting her is not one of them. She is aware I'm out here or so I've been told. I'll deal with that one when/if I bump into her at a work related event.

Why am I here? Considering how bad the traffic and parking has gotten in the ten years since I left I'm beginning to wonder that myself.

Anyway, back to the apartments. After seeing dumps and just depressing plain places I finally hit gold in the Miracle Mile area. Saw a bunch of old style apartments/town houses with hardwood floors, beautiful fixtures, etc. The keys out here are parking and laundry and I did find a place with both. Rent is reasonable as far as I can tell. My problem is my range falls in the middle range where you can spend a little less and a piece of crap or spend a few hundred more and get a nice place. But this one area has reasonable rents and is in a central location. It's not some hip and happening spot by any means, but it is right near the Grove and Farmer's Market and not far from where my gym is in West Hollywood and the drive downtown will be somewhat tolerable.

Speaking of driving, now the car chase starts. Went to a dealer today and looked at a used Honda Accord listed at $16,000 that could come down to a little under $14,000, which meant around $15,000 or so when the taxes are done. Big hurdle for me having a car payment and shelling out that much cash. i could always plunk down $5000 on a car that will function fine for a few years but truthfully I want a nice car. It doesn't have to be super sporty but I don't want to be embarrassed leaving it with a valet. I know, how vain of Rambler, but fuck man, it is L.A.

I'm slowly getting around the mental block of making payments and shelling out ten grand on a down payment. I also may check out an Audi A4 which I saw listed for $15,000 with under 50,000 miles and in good shape. That would be so unlike me to have a super nice car. I don't know if I could handle it. I don't want to lease and while I could easily get a good deal on a new car, I'm really not ready for that hurdle. A car is like a relationship and I can't decide whether I want one for two years or ten years. My instinct is always two years, but that is shallow LA thinking.

I've already been hitting meetings out here and shared at all three I've been to, which is important. Tonight I met a transplanted New Yorker who knew some of my peeps. Very cool.

Back Saturday, then movers come next week then I'm following after. Skinny and Fluff will be out here in May when my place is ready. Yes, the cats are coming. I couldn't really not bring them.

BTW, they go to bed very early out here. I forgot that.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Broadway Diner

Just had what may be my last meal at the Broadway Diner (Broadway between 101st and 102nd). I leave Monday for LA to find an apartment and hopefully a car and then am back to get all my stuff moved out there.

Anyway, I had a steak sandwich, baked potato, chicken soup and a chocolate shake. I feel pretty bloated. The Broadway is really quiet. It doesn't attract the crowds that Metro (Broadway and 100th) and City (Broadway and 90th) get. For that I'm grateful. It's also beyond greasy. There is a cast of characters there every night that you'd expect as extras in a David Lynch movie. The fries are excellent.

It won't be around forever so if you are up in the Manhattan Valley, show it some love.

OK, time to cruise car sites.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Apple Cult or We're Here To Clean The Carpets

Am I the only one who is weirded out by Apple Stores? Yes, they are incredibly efficient. Yes, you feel like you have been shot into another dimension when you walk in there. But you also feel like you've walked into a cult compound. It's like all the slackers in the world have been hypnotized. Ironic hipster detachment combined with tech geek and fast service equal cult.

Rescue Me

Went to premiere and party last night. Show is definitely back on track after last season's absurdity. And who knew Michael J. Fox could play a jerk.

Went to the premiere party. First time in awhile I've been to one of these things. I used to go to them all the time in my reporting days and though there are fewer now I will have to hit what is there to source back up. I know I'm more than my job or that I'm not my job, but I also liked being a reporter. I liked telling people what I did. It'll be nice to have that feeling again.

I would've liked a smoke last night but I can't chuck two years and three months for a short-term craving. They are a lot cheaper in L.A. I'm just saying...

This is a pretty boring post, but just that I'm posting some shit again is a good sign.

On a seperate note, the first five tracks of the new U2 are great. Not so sure about the rest.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Lease Or Buy?

I know most of my readers (all five of you) are mass transist peeps but does anyone have thoughts on the lease or buy debate when it comes to a car? Why is it that I have rented apartments all my life and pissed that money away without thinking twice but leasing a car seems like a big cash suck?

My mechanic brother is strongly against leasing. I have friends who swear by it. On the one hand I can see where it makes sense, especially with the deals that are out there. It really comes down to changing one's mindset about cars and ownership.


Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Writing off the cuff and fast and not realizing that thoughts in my head and things we've discussed look a lot harsher on a page than they do when they are just floating in the air over laughs is a problem.

Once again I've managed to fuck up because that's what fuck ups do. We fuck up. No matter how hard we try, there is a self-defeating thing in us that just fucks everything up.