Sense of Humor

I wonder what a normal second date is like.

I'm guessing it's not like the one I had tonight. There was nothing wrong with the date I had tonight, mind you, but I wonder what normal is like.

So what happened? Nothing dramatic. We went for Thai food. She ordered something I certainly wouldn't have ordered. Then we went to Groundlings show. It was actually kind of funny and I was enjoying myself. It doesn't happen too often. She left to go to the bathroom and then informed me at intermission that the meal wasn't exactly working for her.

We left, which is fine with me. Then we talked for awhile on the street about different things. I am probably way too open. It is a combination of years of therapy and recovery and, frankly age. I simply don't care anymore. I am who I am. I don't hide myself anymore. I'm an open book. I don't know how to make small talk. I think it is a good thing, but I know it is also disarming.

That has nothing to do with anything. Just sort of talking here. Anyway, she told me that she had quit her job to care for her mother who was dying of cancer. She hadn't really shared that with anyone yet (I mean in dating) and she is still trying to find her way back and get past grieving, etc. I feel for her, I really do. Of course, the last girl I dated broke up with me because her sister had cancer (or so she said that was the reason, a month later she was dating someone else, but I'll go with what she told me) so the irony of now dating someone who is still trying to recover from such a loss is, well, funny. I can see it now. I'll date her for three weeks and start to fall for her. She'll then end it, saying she's not ready and then a month later be with someone else. That's what I do, I help people get to the next stage. It's a tremendous sacrifice on my part but I'm glad to be of service.

Sarcasm aside, I like this girl and would like to know her better and see where it goes and I will certainly ask her out again (which she seems surprised by given her bad stomach and candor). But I'm going in with eyes open. If she's not ready, I'm not going to force anything. I need to protect myself. And if I sound like a jerk here so be it. I've spent my life not taking care of myself first and it hasn't really worked out too well.

She already knows all my history (like I said, open book).

Still, maybe soon I'll have an ordinary date. You know, the type where you talk about your favorite food and how you like museums and hiking and long walks.