musings and rantings on all that matters and all that doesn't
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Divorce
When my parents first told me they were splitting up, I felt nothing. But I knew I was supposed to feel something. So I forced myself to cry. Then I asked if I could stay home from school.
Mom said no.
Foiled again.
1 comment:
J
said...
Oh! I am familiar, very familiar with that exact feeling of "Hmmm, I am supposed to feel something here...but I don't... I don't...I better fake it or else I might go down some road I can't come back from...." Faking the feeling was a horrid feeling, and the result of that shutting off wasn't much fun either, but weirdly it is not a permanent stage. Feeling and/or the possibility of feeling arrives. Hello, feeling...not always wonderful...this is well written, Rambler...I know it is, not only because of the way the words sound and work, but because after reading it I remember vividly that exact moment, that particular time when I perceived myself feeling this, not in the same situation, but the same response...but it doesn't leave me feeling sickened remembering it...kind of makes me weirdly hopeful...and there is your mom, and yes, there you are, somehow vividly real in a small exchange. More please.
1 comment:
Oh! I am familiar, very familiar with that exact feeling of "Hmmm, I am supposed to feel something here...but I don't... I don't...I better fake it or else I might go down some road I can't come back from...." Faking the feeling was a horrid feeling, and the result of that shutting off wasn't much fun either, but weirdly it is not a permanent stage. Feeling and/or the possibility of feeling arrives. Hello, feeling...not always wonderful...this is well written, Rambler...I know it is, not only because of the way the words sound and work, but because after reading it I remember vividly that exact moment, that particular time when I perceived myself feeling this, not in the same situation, but the same response...but it doesn't leave me feeling sickened remembering it...kind of makes me weirdly hopeful...and there is your mom, and yes, there you are, somehow vividly real in a small exchange.
More please.
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