Hang Your Balls Out There

I am up very late tonight. Once again contemplating the crazy. Do I dare disturb the universe?

Right now, I have a secure job for at least a year or so. Even if the economy really tanks even worse, I would probably be secure.

I would also be unhappy. I don't like my job. I don't like begging people to be on panels. I'm not good at it because I don't believe what I'm selling and I do it in a half-ass fashion.

I've been looking for a new job for over a year. I've kicked a lot of tires. Some I wanted and some I didn't. I didn't get any anyway so it didn't matter.

Now there is a possibility for a reporting job. I know. Rambler back into the jungle? Can I still do it? Will my comeback be more Kurt Warner or more Brett Favre?

And it's for a start-up website. Complete insanity. The pay cut would be huge. The potential for reward is there, but seriously... Oh, and I have to move to L.A. And no, this isn't about the ex-gf out there. Yes, I'm still hurting but I have this weird feeling that if I were to bump into her that after about three minutes of conversation I'd wonder how I'd ever let myself get so down about this.

I digress. In my favor? I'm single. I have no debt. I can take a risk.

But do I want to be unemployed in a year or two if this thing flops?

Most would say play it safe. And I probably will. But a part of me says fuck it. Take the risk. Whatever happens happens. I'll be O.K no matter what.

I'm not going to do anything crazy. I'm flying out there next week to check this thing out and see for myself and really get a sense of the place and if I feel it can last and that I can last in it.

"That's how you become great. Hang your balls out there"--Jerry Maguire