She's Nothing But Trouble XI

"Can we at least finish our drinks first," I pleaded with Audrey.

She grabbed hers and chugged it and slammed it back down on the bar so loud that even the bartender looked up.

"Done. Let's go."

"Look, we need a plan. We can't just go barging back in there."

"You're right. I'll call, tell him that bitch stole my ring and I need it back and he'll come right down here with it."

"Sounds good, lets do that."

"Look, I'm going up there, you coming or you going to let me go up there by myself."

I love when women whip out that one. She's about to do something stupid and if I don't go along I'm a pussy who won't fight for her honor. I've been there before and when a girl thinks you won't go to the mat for her you're done. Once years ago this guy kept grabbing my date's ass. We were all sitting together and he was drunk. She could've moved her seat but didn't. I, of course, offered to say something and she said no. The point was that I shouldn't have offered, I should've gotten up and punched the guy out.

And she was right. I should've and that was among the five moments in my life I'd like to do over again. I'll tell you the four other ones later although I have a feeling that one of them is about to be replaced.

"Why can't you call Tino and see if he can get the ring back," I asked.

"Hello? Did you not figure it out? She runs the show. He's afraid of her."

"So am I," I said only half-kidding.

"Anyway, I don't think she took it to keep it, she's going to sell it so we need to move."

"What, is it worth that much?"

"It's not worth a ton but she doesn't know that."

"See, I don't think she took to to sell. I think she took it to get at you," I said.

"Fine, I don't really a give a shit why she took it or what her deep psychological reason for it was. I just want my mother fucking ring back. I told you, my dad gave that to me before he died."

That sealed it. Yes, we were going back to 116th Street.

"OK, fine. Let me get one more beer and give me some fuel. If I'm going to get killed I don't want to feel it."

"Fine," Audrey said, reaching into her purse and handing me a pack of a cigarettes. "It's in there."

"Just like I used to do," I said grabbing the pack and heading off to the bathroom.

I walked to the back of the bar and stopped by the jukebox.

Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I started out for God knows where
But I guess Ill know when I get there

I listened to Petty until the end of the song and when it was followed up with Journey I went into the bathroom. Fuck. There was no lock on the door. I'd have to hit the stall and be quiet. Oh well, I was a pro. I went into the stall just as someone else came into to use the urinal. I waited until I heard a flush and then used the noise as a cover to do a couple of bumps. I got that nice quick jolt and an almost instant drip. I flushed my toilet and walked out of the stall. The other guy was at the sink washing up as I walked up, still sniffing slightly.

"You carrying?," he asked.

"Huh?," I said pretending not to understand what he was saying.

"You got any you can spare. Just say yes or no, but don't pretend man, I could hear your teeth grinding from outside the can. I just need a little hit."

He didn't look like a cop and I had to think that a cop would have something better to do then hangout in some wannabe Irish bar busting Upper East Side douche bags. On the other hand, if I were a cop that's what I'd want to do. Plus if I did get busted it would get me out of going back to East Harlem.

"Sure man, help yourself," I said, handing him the smokes.

"Wow, thanks man, appreciate it. I'm Jake," he said holding out his hand.

I shook it and introduced myself. He went into the stall and got a fix and came back out.

"Thanks again, good shit."

"Yeah, it's fresh. Not cut up with crap," I said.

"You got any you want to sell?"

"I don't, but I know someone who does if you want to take a little trip."

"Where?," he asked.

"116th Street?"

"Uh ..."

"Hey, I know, but it's for real. I'm not trying to rip you off. You found me. My girlfriend's at the bar and we were just going up there on a run so if you want to come feel free. It's safe," I said.

He thought about it for a few minutes and then said, "fuck it, lets do it."

The two of us headed out of the bathroom and I led us over to Audrey who was already by the door.

"Audrey, this is Jake."

Audrey looked at Jake and me and Jake again.

"Uh, hi. You two know each other?"

"Not exactly, but Jake wanted to go with us on our little errand. Seems he needs some supplies. Tino won't mind us coming with some new business, right?" I asked with what for me passes for a wink.

"No, that should be just fine," Audrey said giving Jake a once over.

"Who knows, maybe we'll get a discount for the referral," I said getting a laugh out of her and Jake.

The three of us headed out into the street and started to look for a cab. Jake looked just a tad apprehensive.

"You good?," I asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm cool," he said nervously as the cab Audrey flagged pulled up.

"I told you, it's fine. You want a beer? She has some in her bag."

"Sure," he said.

The three of us piled in with Audrey in the middle and I asked her to hand me a beer.

I opened it, took a swig and handed it to Jake. Then I grabbed the magic pack of smokes and tried to make myself feel more indestructible. Audrey grabbed the pack and did some and handed it to Jake who poured some on his hand and snorted it up. Audrey then took his hand and licked the residue off. Maybe she was practicing getting her ring back.

"Sorry, I just didn't want it to go to waste," Audrey said with a wink.

"Uh, yeah OK," Jake said.

I wasn't sure if that move was her being fucked up, a flirt, mad at me or just crazy. But whatever it was, it kind of turned me on.

I grabbed Jake's beer and took a swig as the cab started to race back up First Avenue.

"What I'd tell you man," I said taking out a Marlboro lighting it and rolling down the window.

"Nothing but fun here."