Thursday, March 20, 2008

A Little Obsessed Are We?

So when Rambler was at NYU, there was this girl Linda I had a crush on in freshmen year. She was dark, mysterious, all those cliches. She also showed up to about one out of every four classes. I now realize that's the norm in freshman year. People either take or they don't.

Anyway, on those occasions when she was there we'd sit together and hangout after class. Well, we did that at least once. She commuted from Jersey. I never asked her out. Always figured there would be the right time. Then one day she stopped coming at all.

Yes that's where the story ended. Except that rarely does a week go by where she doesn't enter my brain. Thanks to Google, I'm pretty sure she lives in San Francisco. I'm pretty sure I have an email for her. She had a somewhat unusual last name so it most likely is her.

I'm tempted but I don't really know what would be gained. She could be a)500 pounds b)gay or c) have no recollection of me whatsoever (the most likely of those three scenarios).

Why is someone who I briefly knew stuck in my head twenty five years later? I can tell you why, because every now and then one of those "this is the one" girls crosses our paths and she was one of them and I didn't chase it. Of course, I perhaps have elevated her to that status because of all this. And if that is the case, maybe I should just stick with the fantasy.

5 comments:

Gina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BayonneMike said...

Why do I feel like I've just been zung?

Anyway, Rambler, whenever you get into one of these moods, I recommend reading either Philip Roth's "My Life as a Man" or Joseph Heller's "Something Happened." Both of these books act as strong antidotes to these sort of dreamy "what if" scenarios. I find them very comforting while contemplating my current situation (which isn't very different than yours).

Gina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gina said...

better yet, Rambler. Let go, if you can.

http://www.joy2meu.com/letting_go.html

Angelissima said...

Some things
are better left unsaid
some strings
are better left undone
some hearts
are better left unbroken

Some lives
are better left untouched
some lies
are better off believed
some words
are better left unspoken