OK, found some inspiration.
About twelve years ago when I was living in Los Angeles I finally broke up with my longtime girlfriend who moved with me out there from D.C. I know. I brought sand to the beach, what was I thinking?
Being something of a chicken shit in those days, I started flirting with another girl before officially breaking up with my GF. Look, not proud of that but it's how I did things in those days.
Anyway, L, the girl I started dating worked at the same place I did but in a different department. She was very cute and we started going out. I guess in hindsight we were more of f-buddies. She drove a VW bug and took her white dog buddy with her everywhere.
A friend of mine suggested that I be upfront with L about my GF. Tell her that I'd just gotten out of a relationship, etc. It made sense. I wouldn't want her to hear through the grapevine that the guy she was dating (screwing) had just ended a long-term relationship etc.
Now, L was a little spacey. There are some people who kind of have a revolving door on their brains and if you get something in there while it's spinning, great and if not, well you tried. She fit that category.
So I called her one night and said I wanted to tell her something. I then went through the whole thing about how my live-in GF and I were breaking up I just wanted get that out there, etc. There was a pause and then: "Oh, Buddy ate my sandwich." That was it. No thanks for being upfront. No I appreciate your honesty. Just Buddy ate my sandwich.
Then I paused. Rolled my eyes and wanted to punch my genius friend who suggested being upfront with her. I actually think L, who was always kind of happy on the surface, had some sort of very dark past and she just blocked out anything and everything that was beneath the surface.
Or perhaps Buddy eating the sandwich was more interesting then me, it's entirely possible. I never did find out what was on that sandwich.
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15 comments:
well, at the time I was hoping for a relationship...would have been much better as a FB. No idea what happened to her...she was a little strange.
sounds like L. had great difficulty bonding. a disconnect. maybe hurt in the past and happy with the superficial thing. the closest they can feel is on a physical level and anything beyond that is just toooooooooo.....how do you say.....close. too hard.
she may also have had a touch of ADD. I have a touch of that. too easily distracted by some external thing going on. She was a free spirit and preferred the safe thing she had with Buddy over anything that could hurt her, and in return, Buddy kept her distracted. MAybe...i don't know.
sometimes you can bond with a disconnect. they just need time and a lot of shared everyday experiences, time to build trust. to realize that you are not going to really leave them or require more from them. suddenly some crisis will occur and you are there emotionally. sometimes if you are away from them for a while they start to realize and appreciate your unique place in their lives and maybe that you mean something more. I guess.
couid be she was speakin' the language of the broken hearted
buddy= you, my friend
ate= broke
my= my
sandwich= heart
Wait....you played bass? camon' all these years and i never knew ya played anything but the cowbell or tambourine. We coulda had a band never mind you runnin out to bring new wave to the west. What the heck...i coulda had Laura on the drums...and Elena on the pipe organ.
she was on on the pipe at the time...Mary Anikow coulda...ah nevermind. You with leopard and candies...sounds like my sister's prom night with your brother. Wasn't that Jake in the station wagon?
Me and the GF had an on-again, off-again thing for awhile. That was the first break-up. It didn't take even though it cost me a lot of $$. The GF was still struggling professionally and I loaned her start-up money which she claims was a gift.
After L, there a were a few others, than the GF, then some others and then I ended up back here.
I'm still friends with most of my exes...forwhatever that's worth L was not around long enough to be an X.
i am anon. Al-anon off and on. Ambiguous 'start up' fees...mmm....you were financing her operations, with the expectation that she would repay when she could. But no note..It's my opinion, from experience of course that giftings of $$ really should be limited to one large lump sum, don't you think? with a nice little " this is a gift" note, in order to avoid later confusion and worse, bad feelings.
L would have been a nice friend without the F. And I don't mean riend, Buddy.
I sense a Coup d'état
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