Sunday Night Blues

Should be in a good mood. Beautiful day. Got to the gym. Had a good game. Pitched five innings and got a couple of hits. But it's Sunday night and I'm feeling an emptiness I haven't felt in a long time. It's not a great feeling. I know what's causing it. A delayed reaction to the demise of a relationship. I knew the relationship would probably be short-term but attached to it was a much longer friendship and while I think the friendship will eventually resume, right now it's on the back burner. I think that is the tougher part and I don't mean that as some form disrespect for the relationship. Problem is I could handle the relationship ending if I could still talk to my friend. But I can't have both and apparently I can't have one either. Hopefully this will be just for awhile.

I realize in my posts I say "anyway" and "that said" far too many times. I'll try to watch it. I hate annoying phrases and yet I'm an annoying phrase user myself.

I know I just have to keep doing what I've been doing and ride it out. My brain has been fucking with me lately, trying to tell me stuff that I know is bull. I know I just have to keep going and walk through to the other side. There can be no going back. No tossing away of 21 months out of a little loneliness. Not to sound like a cliche, but I'm tougher than that. I better be.

Still, I think I need to mix things up a little. I don't know how, but I need to try some new things. I need to hit some different places and faces.

Tomorrow I have an event at work. Here's hoping the people who said they'd come actually do. If that happens, I'll have a full house and I can breathe a little easy

OK, enough of the poor pitiful me stuff. Life is good. I'm here and I'm present and I'm alert. It's all good.

On a different note, Entourage kind of blew tonight. I think it may have jumped the shark. I don't feel like watching any of the other new HBO stuff. I'm hoping Rescue Me picks up but the first two episodes have only been so-so. Everyone tells me the third one resolves all these idiotic plot points. Let's hope so. Too much talent on that show for it to be this crappy.