Ouch!

As any reader of this site knows, I'm on the hunt for a new job. I spent 20 years in media and now plan media-related events for an institution.

But my job, while not exactly hard, is frustrating. It's a drag constantly asking people to participate in panels, conferences, speaker series, etc. especially when I don't have the answer to that question they always ask--what's in it for me? We don't have a super high-powered audience of investors. We have some. It's not like they're speaking before a bunch of yahoos, but we are not some big investment bank holding a conference.

So I'm looking. I knew when I took this job that it was short-term. It does pay well and I'm a little worried about the velvet handcuff syndrome. I know my next job, especially if it is a return to the reporting world, could mean a pay cut. That's why I haven't joined a nice new gym or gotten a better apartment even with my larger salary. I knew it might not be forever. (Nor do I think my institution will be around forever, but that's another story.)

A former colleague passed on a tip that a major business publication might be looking for a writer with familiarity with the areas that I focused on through my career. While I'm not sure about whether a return to this profession is what I really want, I called. I want to be on the radar and meet more people so what would it hurt. Plus, a relative toiled at this place for years and still does freelance work for them. In fact, the person I was told to contact happens to be my relative's editor so I knew my call would be taken.

I called the guy. We had a nice chat. He's not sure if there is an opening or not but he said something that was distressing although not distressing to me simply because of where my head is at these days. He said he couldn't remember the last time his publication hired a "mid-career" reporter. He didn't say it glibly or with a mean streak. If anything, he seemed slightly embarrassed by this. I chuckled and said his publication was probably not alone in that regard. Never mind that said relative was definitely a mid-career hire. Heck, he was older than me when they tapped him to be D.C. Bureau Chief.

His statement reflects the approach of much of the media now for myriad of reasons. For starters, youth works cheaper. Secondly, there was a time when it was the reporter who was expected to know his beat and inform his editors and subsequently the readers. These days, newspapers and magazines are much more editor driven. The reporter does grunt work and the editors shape the story and determine what matters. That is something of an overstatement, but not that far off the mark. One of my issues in my last job was that I had covered my beat a long time and hence would often debate my editors about the premise of a story. Editors don't like debate. Now I didn't handle myself well in those days and I can look back and say I would have done things differently, but that doesn't change my core point, editors prefer younger reporters who are less likely to debate. I know this from talking not only to my friends but just what I see on the pages of our newspapers.

This is not bitterness on my part. Hell, if I were an editor I wouldn't want to deal with me either. Well, I wouldn't have wanted to deal with the old me, I'm not that guy anymore.

Despite basically being told that I'm middle-aged and not an ideal hire (yes, 20 years of experience does get you something--insulted), I'm not upset by it. That has more to do with the fact that I'm not even sure I want to return to my profession and that I'm now a lot more comfortable with myself and know that no matter what happens, as long as I keep on my path, I'll be taken care of in some form. I am going to try to meet with the guy and we'll see what happens.

Having said all that (and I am pretty sure I'm not the first to make this observation), it is depressing to think that what I view as my positives--almost 20 years experience at some of the best known publications out there--are actually my negatives.

As a reporter, I realize I've just written a "dog bites man" post. It reminds me of the old saying "when your neighbor loses his job, it's a recession. When you lose yours, it's a depression." I haven't lost anything though and that's what matters. And remember, there are no new stories, only new reporters.