Fridays...Still A Problem

You'd think after over two years of clean living that certain urges would start to fade. And for the most part they have.

But Fridays are still a problem. I'm having one of those Friday afternoon and I'm antsy moments. Now in the past that would be remedied with a couple of phone calls. One to the girl. One to the delivery man. One to the deli.

Now I don't have those options. Actually, I do. I just won't take them. Heck, I can't even have a smoke to chill me out since I gave those up too. Sometimes I really miss a Marlboro Red.

Anyway, I'm pumped up, anxious and looking to unload a load. Sorry to be graphic, but that's how it is. I am going to play poker in a bit (the stakes are small, don't worry, gambling never been an issue for me) and that will help get me out of the danger zone.

Last Friday when I felt this way I emailed an ex that I hadn't talked to in awhile. She's still a bit of a mess and was famous (or infamous) for calling me at 1 a.m. drunk and asking me to come over. I usually did although she became less fun when I wasn't drunk. Last time she called I was seeing someone and told her I couldn't play ball anymore. She then called two nights later (blackouts and no memory) and asked again for me to come over. I said no and the next day emailed her and told her perhaps she should look at what causes her to seek out a quick and cheap form of satisfaction during the wee hours of the morning and try to make some changes. I shouldn't have done that, it was out of line and we really didn't talk much after that.

But last Friday my lower region got the best of my upper region and I emailed her a note that semi-apologized and basically said if you want to hook up, give me a ring and if you're still steamed, that's cool too.

She actually did call the next day and I went over there. It scared me how quickly I was willing to break a routine that has kept me on the straight and narrow for 26 months now just to get some action.

Of course, I jump in a cab and when I get there she's become very sick because of an allergic reaction so I didn't even get any action. Typical, she ate food she knew would give her a bad reaction. That's something I'm trying to avoid, especially on a Friday.